i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Why did my mother make you get naked?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
