I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
