I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
