What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
