Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I know, I was there.

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  (443): sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends (336): I know, I was there. http://tfl.nu/9p97
  Replies (1) Good night (1804) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.

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  (651): So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure. http://tfl.nu/i2sm
  Replies (33) Good night (6854) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me

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  (203): trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me http://tfl.nu/u42j
  Replies (20) Good night (2446) Bad night (3900)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"

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  (513): I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair" http://tfl.nu/ia2j
  Replies (21) Good night (722) Bad night (6222)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.

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  (386): Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target. http://tfl.nu/eg9l
  Replies (5) Good night (4169) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds

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  (+61): He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds http://tfl.nu/yob4
  Replies (8) Good night (1272) Bad night (2516)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.

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  (908): Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay. http://tfl.nu/7deg
  Replies (5) Good night (1219) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.

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  (623): Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to. http://tfl.nu/084z
  Replies (7) Good night (2272) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose

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  (303): I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive (1-303): Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose http://tfl.nu/eyzf
  Replies (6) Good night (919) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?

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  (815): is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal? http://tfl.nu/lpf5
  Replies (14) Good night (747) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.

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  (816): The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles. http://tfl.nu/r0bo
  Replies (4) Good night (323) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.

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  (630): Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school. http://tfl.nu/2i6j
  Replies (2) Good night (482) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.

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  (425): He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night. http://tfl.nu/zs6o
  Replies (6) Good night (597) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.

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  (530): Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery. http://tfl.nu/qyfd
  Replies (2) Good night (397) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.

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  (804): I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there. http://tfl.nu/77p4
  Replies (9) Good night (864) Bad night (229)

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