so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST