Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.

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  (612): im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season. http://tfl.nu/2d9g
  Replies (3) Good night (3567) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor

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  (937): she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor http://tfl.nu/fo1n
  Replies (51) Good night (577) Bad night (7404)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!

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  (267): The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering! http://tfl.nu/inse
  Replies (45) Good night (7094) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer

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  (702): I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer http://tfl.nu/pk2a
  Replies (12) Good night (4089) Bad night (1329)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass

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  (515): theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass http://tfl.nu/ckyi
  Replies (39) Good night (5054) Bad night (2786)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.

  (518): View more from New York

  I am in love with you.

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  (203): Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think. (518): I am in love with you. http://tfl.nu/yy5e
  Replies (5) Good night (5194) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.

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  (708): This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major. http://tfl.nu/bo8s
  Replies (10) Good night (3150) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.

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  (765): On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life. http://tfl.nu/r8q3
  Replies (7) Good night (2014) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?

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  (270): I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today? http://tfl.nu/zwes
  Replies (5) Good night (1846) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.

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  (910): Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now. http://tfl.nu/pjno
  Replies (9) Good night (542) Bad night (2033)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.

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  (916): No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace. http://tfl.nu/5hw2
  Replies (12) Good night (1035) Bad night (1992)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions

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  (516): I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions http://tfl.nu/0adz
  Replies (6) Good night (404) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.

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  (207): It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night. http://tfl.nu/zq29
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?

  (1-612): View more from Minnesota

  I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?

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  (612): Did you put pizza in my boxers last night? (1-612): I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day? http://tfl.nu/wnhf
  Replies (0) Good night (385) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch

  (1-619): View more from California

  Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.

  (619): View more from California

  Love you...

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  (619): You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch (1-619): Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you. (619): Love you... http://tfl.nu/dldo
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (479)

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