so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
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we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
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Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.