After last night, I could never be a politician.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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