i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
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Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
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Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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