let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
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Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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