i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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