so that wasnt chicken after all
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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