I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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