I think scott just propositioned me for sex
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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