You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
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So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
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Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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