Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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