My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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