also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Randomize
