Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
