I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
