: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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