You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
