How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
