I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
