I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
