My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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