I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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