I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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