I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
