My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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