Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
