none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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