So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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