If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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