i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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