why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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