no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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