I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
