...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was confusing and full of hummus
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Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
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