so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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