i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
