oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
