You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
