Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
