we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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