As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
