I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
