Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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