I love black thongs
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
