I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
