Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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