I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
