I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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