He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
