just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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