Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
