She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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