Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
