tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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