i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
