I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize