I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
oh god the rape fog is back!
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize