He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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