we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So apparently I’m into choking now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
